Sunday 17th July 2011 11.56pm

So. Had my last night at Proud Cabaret last saturday. Got a little bit teary. It really is a shame to think that it may be the last time all us girls (and some boys) get to work there all together. But hey ho, we move on, things change. Such is the way of life. I really grew at Proud Cabaret. Starting off as an occasional Saturday night singer for the Tassel Club and slowly advancing into a compere (something I never thought I could do, nor want to do). I loved that the show was mine to play with. There's no secret, acting is my first love, and I love having someone else's guidance with direction but it was terribly exciting to do what I wanted to do, to make creative decisions on songs I thought would work etc. I do wish to be a director one day, but at the moment I think I have my fingers in enough pies as it is!

But yes, quite sad to leave. I really enjoyed hosting by the end. It's exciting and challenging to have the audience in your grip and to be the link between the performers and them. And my gosh I will miss those performers. What a welcoming group they have been.

After my last performance there was (of course) a VAST amount of alcohol consumed. Which is to be expected. Only problem was, I hadn't packed for my trip to Malta. And I left at 6am that morning. After a trip to Maccy D's (too much cheese) and an hour 'nap' (drunken stupor), I arose and "packed" and hopped in my cab feeling like a badger's behind. (Let's just say on arrival to Malta my outfit choices were interesting).

I was in Malta with 2 drama school chums and a friend of a friend. I have never been on a 'girls holiday' before and so was looking forward to the time out immensely. I have never been a girl's girl. Ever. No offence ladies, but I do tend to get drowned in some typical female conversation. (Hence, women I find inspirational go way way up on a pedestal for me). But, despite fears that I would find so much girl time difficult, and despite old paranoias' creeping back in from the hell that was drama school, I had a fabulous time.

Sun, sea, sand, food, a casual jelly fish sting (not mine) and before I knew it, it was over and I was on a plane outta there. Goodbye sun. Hello precipitating London.

Flew to Jersey yesterday to do a corporate Burlesque show with the gorgeous Folly Mixtures. Despite drunken pervy grabby corporate men we had a pleasant time. Really good to get to spend some time with the girls and very much hoping our ambitions of putting together a September show together come true.

Now I'm sat at home. A bit lost for what to do to be honest. I start my new job tomorrow. A job I feel like I've been waiting for my whole life. (You see how I manage to build it up and stress myself out?? - such a drama queen.) But no, really, playing Audrey in 'Little Shop of Horrors', in a professional show, with a big stage, a big budget and a top creative team really is a dream come true. I seriously can't wait to get stuck in. And yet, I am also shitting it.

C'est la vie.