How can you sum up a life, an ending, a choice, without the knowledge of the when and how?
I type many sentences and delete again because of their insensitivity, their complete inadequacy at the situation.
I want to hypothesise, to theorise about the inner workings of the human disposition. About mental disorders, imbalance, hidden emotions of the depressed. I find all the words and yet...nothing. They don't fulfil my feeling if complete warmth and loss at yet another beautiful mind that we let go.
Behind closed doors lies a world of mystery. I, for one, know that I have a lot of family and friends that care deeply for my well being. But the thought has (more than once) crossed my mind of: no one knows where I am right now. No one in the world. No one knows what I'm doing, who I'm with, whether I'm laughing or crying.
It suddenly becomes easy to imagine how someone who is sad can get lost in feelings of loneliness. And before we've woken for a sip of our morning coffee they have gone. Never to be heard again.
Why can't we remember the stakes? Why can't we all just pick up that phone? In today's technology it seems mad to me that we don't use it for the greater good. Of course, everyone has their own 'shit' going on and no one can ever really know how anyone else is feeling; but I think we do know, really. I think we are blessed with a sensor for others' well being and strength. Maybe not.
All I'm saying is, next time you think about picking up that phone, sending that text; or next time the mere thought of an old friend grazes your mind. Do it. Just do it. Because tomorrow is a day with no itinerary.
Hi. How are you? X
